Donald Trump’s trade policies are having a negative effect in the agricultural business in the United States, but the president seems to have a solution – he plans to pay off farmers after “screwing” them with his trade war.

Writing in the Sidney Daily News, Ohio farmer and former USDA administrator, Christopher Gibbs, ripped Trump to shreds for offering a $12 billion “hand-out” to farmers.

Gibbs claimed that Trump’s pity money is no different than the “hush money” he reportedly paid adult film star Stormy Daniels to keep quiet about their affair.

“Let me be clear,” Gibbs wrote. “I want to be supportive of the president and his policies. As a farmer, we voted for the president because he purported to represent a ‘can do, just get it done’ attitude. That attitude is the core of farm folks. But the president’s trade war, now being supported by hush money to keep agriculture sedated, is a bridge too far for me.”

Gibbs claimed that Trump’s proposal to pay farmers after screwing them is “verification that the president’s protectionist’s trade policies are folly.”

The Ohio farmer then turned to dark humor to explain how he sees Trump way of “having the farmers’ backs.”

“Let me tell you a riddle,” he began. “‘I slept with a billionaire because he said he loved me. I expected to make love, but in the morning I realized I was getting screwed. When I went to tell the world, I was offered cash to keep my mouth shut. Who am I? No, I’m not a model or someone named Stormy. I’m the American farmer.’”

Then, on a serious note, he added, “In the mid-1980s we were awash with overproduction in the corn and soybean sectors. Agriculture got busy, boarded planes, trains and automobiles and started building markets around the world, one handshake and one relationship at a time. We used our own funds through our checkoff dollars and trade associations to build markets in Mexico, Canada, Latin America and the Pacific Rim.”

“The world markets, which the president is now tearing down in the name of fairness, were built and paid for by farmers to ensure agriculture had outlets for our production so we didn’t have to come to the American taxpayer for support,” he continued, before providing some background.

“I spent 30 years administering federal farm programs with the USDA. I’ve administered and supported disaster programming, conservation programming, and price and supply stabilization. I believed in those supports because I believe a strong agriculture is directly related to our national security,” he noted. “I’ve never administered hush money designed to make me sit down and shut up about a ridiculous protectionist trade policy that has destroyed in a matter of months what my industry built with our own hands over decades.”

“The president calls ‘em like he sees them, and so do I. I won’t be silent any longer,” he warned.

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